This past weekend (although it took me forever to translate this and it’s actually a month later) the brutally anticipated first summer edition of XXXAPADA NA TROMBA OPEN AIR finally took place in the beaches of Figueira da Foz. Except it wasn’t at Figueira da Foz, nor at the beach and it was called XXXICKEN PARTY. It happened in Cantanhede at Rex Bowling, it happened like this because a select group of sad, ignorant, retarded douchebags who have nothing better to do with their lives decided (several months after the festival’s promotion and confirmation) that something like this had no business happening on their neighbourhood and so they fought valiantly to spread and perpetuate lies, fear, intolerance and ignorance about this event, the organization and the people who attended such things, all this to protect the well-being of beach goers and children who could eventually pass by the festival and be influenced to take heavy drugs and perform satanic rituals due to the music.
It didn’t interest them to protect the local economy and tourism that this opportunity would provide to their town. The restaurant business, hotels and local commerce would greatly benefit from this event and by association, this band of imbeciles as well.
Due to the examples of towns like Barroselas, Barcelos or Moledo not reaching their ears (they must certainly be very well informed individuals), the festival suffered, the bands suffered and the fans suffered.
The very perpretators of this ridiculous joke suffered, they made their own town bleed, they may not realize it but that is exactly what happened. All they did was spread the idea that Figueira da Foz is a town of fear, intolerance and ignorance where an event of this kind is not welcome. Fans live there too, imagine how they felt.
Oh well, let’s forget the sadness and focus on the enormous, brutal and thick party that happened on that weekend at Rex Bowling in Cantanhede, in spite of all the adversities.
The party was kick started by “Kiste Sacro”, four ugly Spanish guys who play horrible music (quote from the band). Good stage presence and attitude, the XXXICKEN Party started with few people but plenty of enthusiasm from everyone in the company of that grind quartet. They ended their show with a cover from Wormrot, “Born Stupid (a little more competition)”.
Next, the joy and party spirit exploded directly out of someone’s ass with the Belgians “Brutal Sphincter” and there was definitely a truly brutal anal cavity somewhere because the band members were covered in butt chocolate. Taking in consideration that the audience might not be as in love with poop as them, toilet paper flew everywhere.
More people started showing up and moving around with enthusiasm, some guy threw around coffee powder from a flask with his bare hands like a maniac in the front line, a recipe for making everyone sweat expresso during the show. It was a great concert filled with happy attitude from the band and audience alike.
Afterwards came “Kakothanasy” straight from Switzerland. All they needed to make a party was a guitar player, an incredible fucking drummer and an insanely hyped up vocalist wearing a Vegeta t-shirt who would love you forever if you got him beer and drugs. A very agreeable point of view for us. It was a fun show, that vocalist really enjoys what he does and seeing that is well worth it.
Then things started to go wrong for me. I returned to the stage expecting to see “Brutal Brain Damage” but instead there were a bunch of long haired guys wearing colourful tights. One had stripped black and white tights, another had the insides of the human body on his tights, the other had weed all over. They were “Inverted Pussyfix” from Croatia, their show was the continuation of the joyous festivities that had transpired before, the same with the bands enthusiasm and stage presence.
Next ( and this makes a lot more sense after researching this shit on the internet) played “Clitorape” which I thought at the time were “Inverted Pussyfix” because I have no idea what happened to “Brutal Brain Damage”. Confusions aside, it was a great concert, with twerking on stage, great energy from the band and enthusiasm from the crowd. Here everything started to look and feel a lot more like a party and Rex Bowling’s basement started to feel familiar, it felt like a good place for a festival.
“Kadaverficker” whose vocalist bites so he has to show up wearing a Hannibal Lecter mask, played next. The first band of the festival that I had seen before, a year ago with “Serrabulho” at Cave 45(that’s right, I remember you from Paris). They played a good Nekrocore show (in spite of force volunteering the bass player from “5 Stabbed 4 Corpses” at the last minute) which included a strip session from the vocalist, a vampire girl vomiting blood, moshing on stage and moshing in bikinis. The last song was created and dedicated specially to the Portuguese people and it was called “Chupamapiça”, those who were there last year know what that means.
Next, the tone of the festival turned more serious, more death, less grind with two shows, “Fermented Masturbation” and “Analepsy”. I didn’t caught much of the first one but from what little I saw, the party had a pedal to the metal, the audience and the band were in perfect sync.
“Analepsy’s” concert was initially a little slow due to the screens on the side of the room in which the game between Poland and Portugal for the Euro cup was on live. The heads of everyone present turned constantly, undecided between enjoying the good Portuguese Brutal Death Metal or watch the penalties against Poland. Because here everyone is really fucking horny about football. Fortunately, well before the show was over, Portugal won and the crowd exploded with blissful violence as every native twit no longer felt the need to gaze at the television. They even played an extra song to celebrate.
Once more, the party turns to grind with two shows. The “creme de la crème” of the night.
Speaking of cream, the Dutch “Rectal Smegma” went first and played one of the best shows of the night. Party, ridiculous and unexpected things flying around, contagious dancing wriggling through everyone, spilled alcohol on to floors and throats alike. Massive stage presence from the band and huge support from the public.
I could almost use the same words to describe the awesome show that the brutal Germans “5 Stabbed 4 Corpses” played next. Including all of the above, there was a human row boat on stage, the vocalist was fierce and incredible, performing with a cast on his arm amidst all that grind party chaos. Their bass player was also a lot more enthusiastic and passionate on stage this time around than before, when “Kadaverficker” played.
The first day ended with “PornTheGore” a Romanian band filled with grunts, dildos, buttplugs and the will to dance that infected the audience. Probably the worst pornogoregrind band in the world according to their facebook page, it wasn’t so bad when they went to the XXXICKEN PARTY stage. The party only died when the music stopped.
The hungover is unforgiving but doesn’t slow down. Day two of XXXICKEN Party, I arrived in time to see “Happy Farm”, I was sad to know their vocalist couldn’t make it, friends from “Brutal Sphincter” and “PornTheGore” were nice enough to supply themselves to keep the party rolling.
Just like the day before, the party was in full swing with no signs of slowing down. “666 Shades of Shit” were up next to keep the party train fuelled up. The vocalist’s powerful voice as well as the other instruments, made sure it happened.
After that, I wandered around with beer, people and substances, I ended up falling asleep on the back of the car and missed a few shows. When I returned, the Spaniards “Virulency” were playing and the public was already orgasming with them. A torrent of Brutal Death that kept turning the party crank, making the people go around and around in the basement of Rex Bowling.
Then it was time for the Mexicans “Urtikaria Anal” to show their grind cranking, party rolling skills, and what amazing skills they had. The party was immense, with people and objects flying all over the place, lots of sexy dancing on stage, crazy mariachis, things attempting to get inside butts and overall happiness. The vocalist did not forget that the party was supposed to be on a beach, near the start of the show he ripped off his clothes revealing his fabulous spicy red and white bikini as well as his sexy Bender tattoo on his ass cheek, the secret to time travel. Just so it is abundantly clear how incredible this show was, after it was over and the band started packing, they left a Mexican song playing in the background and everyone stayed behind dancing their asses off for over two minutes after the show was over, a show that was as simple as a vocalist, a guitar player and a drum machine. You don’t need a lot of people to get a party going, only the right tools and the wisdom to use them, which they both had.
When I returned to the stage, “Kraanium” were playing, highly anticipated band that played a show to blow expectations of those present. Lots of people running around slamming into each other, slamming themselves and furiously slamming their own craniums. They left everyone with a wish to see them back here again.
While that was going on, I headed upstairs for a few moments. In the same space where every day there was a big screen with the Euro football matches, a dance class was taking place (this is not a joke, I’m dead serious) and some of the residents from Cantanhede could be found there dancing slowly and learning. Faced with this scenario, the folks from the festival and from the bands began to let themselves be infected by the music and dancing and slowly they floated into the middle of the dance floor. After a while, the locals from Cantanhede merged with the XXXICKEN Party in a party so large and ferocious that I have no idea why they didn’t move the main stage there.
There are many videos of this floating around, you have probably seen them, if not, here is one, so everybody can fully witness what the backwards residents from Figueira da Foz “saved” their town from.
The bands were there too, dancing away with the fans and the locals. Rectal Smegma, Brutal Sphincter, Kakothanasy, 5 Stabbed 4 Corpses, Kadaverficker, as well as the fans and the organization, everybody together having fun, dancing Portuguese folk hits,( among other things) and celebrating life which is deep down the reason of existence of any festival of this kind. Never mind the ignorant fucktards who believe in ridiculous claims and act accordingly to their prejudice.
Back to the stage for a double dose of Brutal Death Metal, first with the French “Darkall Slaves” then the Italians “Putridity”. Once more, no brakes were found in the party bus and the audience continued going wild at every turn, banging their heads and making the band miss them after they leave.
The night ended with “Serrabulho” who threw one of the biggest parties of the entire festival. Starting with a mini rave, they gathered everyone around the stage and then proceeded to drop some filthy grind on them. Plenty of partying, people spinning, people flying, objects flying too, confetti and so on. When it comes to special guests, they were more frequented than a two cent prostitute. I don’t know how many different people from different bands participated but it was a lot, sometimes two different guys from different bands at the same time, triple penetration in our ears. Near the end, they took half the people to the hot tub (did I forget to mention there was a hot tub inside?) splitting the party in two, party on stage and party in the hot tub.
And that was day two of XXXICKEN Party, lots of dancing, joy, partying, alcohol, shit flying around, banging skulls and Jacuzzi circle pits.
The last day of XXXICKEN Party started with a shitload of confusion. I arrived in time to see “Besta” end which was sad for me as a great fan of the band. I saw the last few songs with enthusiasm and it was great to see this enthusiasm being shared by the rest of the cheering crowd.
Then I was informed of drastic changes in the line-up. Bands I thought I wouldn’t miss had played already and bands I thought I had missed were still going to play. I could not witness the well dressed, luchador grind from “Rapemachine” nor from “UxCxLxMx”. I did manage to see “Scent of Death” who put out a pleasant Death Metal show with good stage presence and an exited audience. Worth seeing again.
Next was time to get partied in half by the scots “Party Cannon”, brutal Death metal for all ages and available for birthday parties. It was a real explosion of party right in everyone’s face. If you don’t think so, well there’s the reason you’re single.
Then came another band I thought I had missed but fortunately I didn’t. In spite of missing them in January at XXXAPADA NA TROMBA, this time I managed to see the Spaniards “Rato Raro”, classic grind with no brakes and a great fucking stage presence were united to generate a concert that was very much worth it, not a gigantic number of people were there but that had zero effect on the band or on the people who were there rocking their heads and bodies. Most defenetly worth watching again.
After this, my pen ran out of ink, so I couldn’t take any more notes on the shows (it was my job) so the rest is from memory almost a week later.
I learned that “Unfanthomable Ruination” cancelled but no one told me that the Russians “Katalepsy” were playing earlier. Due to this, I only saw the end of their show, much to my contempt. What I did saw made me feel even worse for not seeing it from the start. A mass of people were completely fired up before the stage and the band was as fired up as them, they even took the vocalist for a crowd surfing ride of love.
I don’t recall if it was before or after that I saw “Daemusinem”, another Brutal Death band with the same members from Putridity that made the palm leaves from Rex Bowling shake as much as the people.
Next played the Columbians “Carnivore Diprosopus” with a very pleasant Death Grind that didn’t left the brutality level go under 100%. Another great concert filled with the same partyful unstoppable elements as the rest.
Afterwards, the French “Pulmonary Fibrosis” were up. If having tattoos is a contest, their vocalist won. But what really mattered was the Death Grind and the tremendous, cavernous voice that descended upon the audience during that show. Amongst the best shows without a doubt, I certainly hope they come back.
Before my journey home and back to normal life, I managed to catch a glimpse of the Italians “Devangelic”. More Brutal Death that kept the party going if the alcohol wasn’t doing that already.
In spite of all the adversities, XXXICKEN Party happened, and not only did it merely happen, it was an unprecedented party in these parts, I don’t want to think about what could have been anymore. I want to focus on how fucking successful it was this year and that there is a lot of room to grow again and come back next year with double the force. To all the bands I didn’t see, you know I missed out, from what I saw in there I’m quite certain that every show was a party, full of smile and movement. It doesn’t really matter if I was there or not, it matters that you were there and you made a lot of people happy and vice versa. Next year there will be more and any attempts to stop the XXXICKEN Party will be met with slaps to the face, with barbed wire, scalding rusty barbed wire.
Text By J.P. Alves
Photo By Ines Oliveira