“Warning, the man who wrote this report had recently uncovered his sister’s bestiality addiction and was very annoyed at anything animal or farm related. Do not take him seriously.”
I don’t believe this. Those yokel farmers disguised as musicians actually made a cd and had a special show planned for that cd’s release. Worse of all, I have to be here, fuck me, right in my sorry ass.
The first band was “Sudden Death”. Not sudden enough I would say. Apparently partyboy saw these guys a while back and felt they ended too soon for him to enjoy to the fullest. I’d say they ended too late for my dinner to stay in my stomach, terrible music, I was glad when they left.
But not everything is good, of course it couldn’t be. After the last band failed to die as suddenly as they should have, “Grimlet” came to the stage. These guys I remember from my debut here at the DOD super fun mega force. It was just as bland and sad as it was the first time, we get it guys, you’re old, older than everyone else attending, get over it! They clearly did not take my advice on getting some music lessons and keep doing the same lame ass act that I saw back in November.
Then the pigs finally showed up to put an end to this shit night and to my misery. “Happy Farm” keep exploiting their poor down syndrome vocalist for drug money, I get it, drugs are cool. But exploiting the handicapped is not cool, it’s funny, especially when you get them drunk and let em loose.
So just like last time, the vocalist ran around making pig noises while the other two pretended they played music. The drummer was ok until the vocalist decided he was a drummer too and went to play the drums with his hands.
A total train wreck of shows from beginning to end, thank you alcohol for briefly making me believe I wasn’t there. I can’t believe the audience actually begged for more music, I guess they enjoy being horse kicked in the face by terrible music.
Text by Hugh Dick