Disposal of the world tour -Cave 45- Positively Psyched Partyboy Report

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As you probably know, our team has frequently in the past made its way to Cave 45 for some good times and great music. Many if not most of our reports happened within those beautifully painted walls, in that dank basement we have seen all kinds of intense and amazing shit go down.

So you would be wise to trust us when we tell you, never in our career have we seen Cave 45 like we did last night, EVER! We will get to that part, first this.

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We had just finishes having dinner (lunch in our case because the team woke up at seven in the afternoon from the previous night) at some random shady spot and were quietly smoking a joint right outside Cave 45.

What is the best possible thing that can happen while we were doing this? That’s right! The exact opposite of that happened and the undercover police showed up demanding everyone to cough up their stash. We cooperated fully with the fuzz but Hugh Dick gave them lip, long story short, the police does not like it when you give them lip and our Colleague Hugh Dick was arrested.

HUGH DICK WAS ARRESTED! Apparently, the correct answer to the question “do you have anything that will compromise you” is not “Oink!”

We had already downed a lot of vodka and smoked a few, then that sudden burst of real world authority harshed the fuck out of our buzz and brought us back to square one. We mourned the loss of Dick greatly by drinking more vodka.

There was plenty of time to do this because the bands were late. However, we were ultimately glad they were late, when they showed up it was a show in itself. Some of you might not know this, but Cave 45 is in a narrow one way street, so when a huge ass bus comes along and parks right in front of it, everyone else driving around is going to stay where they are.

It was hilarious, all the cars from all the normies, people trying to get out of garages to go places, guess what, your plans are postponed while the brutal death metal bands unload their shit to give us a proper show. The line of cars kept getting longer and honkier, but only the ones in the back honked, the ones in the front did not want to honk at a massive group of big scary bearded metal guys.

Shortly after the big entrance, the show itself started with a brutal kick to the face by “Cranial Engorgement”, loads of people, amazing attitude from the band and sadly, over in like ten minutes. What gives? We get it though, they were late and there were four more bands playing, still, off to a great start with these guys, if it weren’t, no one would be complaining about the short running time.

Then “Skinned” and “Primordius” played like fifteen minutes too! What? It felt like they were teasing the crowd, tickling us with their short quick samples of brutal death metal. Regardless of that, it was a very intense and satisfying fifteen minutes of brutal live music.

After the first three bands tore it up nicely, Shaun LaCanne went up on stage to show everyone that having more than one person per band is overcompensating. At that point, everyone was completely drunk and ready to party and party we did! The house was packed, the people were swirling all over, what a fucking sight. Fortunately “Putrid Pile’s” show lasted much longer, no more ten minutes of death metal tickling, this show was a proper ass rape worthy of what we saw at the Obscene Stage.

Before he left us, one of his friends came to play guitar on the last song. Do you know what happens when you tell a crowd who’s loving your show that this is the last song? Shit gets even more absurdly extreme, everyone tore the paint off the walls, limbs and people flying everywhere, “Putrid Pile’s” show was incredible and enjoyed until the very last second.

As we said before, a lot has passed before our eyes at Cave 45, we have never witnessed a crowd so horny for a band as we did on that day, Cave 45 was completely lit up.

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There was no stopping this brutal death metal party train from going full berserk, especially since the germans “Defeated Sanity” were about to ejaculate their music all over the audience, an audience which was more than glad to receive this load and spread it on their tities like butter.

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We were so wasted that it’s hard now to be aware of how long they played, certainly long enough to defeat the sanity of anyone who isn’t a fan of brutal death metal, fortunately those people weren’t there and the crowd kept exploding to the massively brutal tunes of the german band.

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It went on for a long time and it was amazing. The band squirting out awesome song after awesome song and the audience going fucking crazy and taking it all, taking it all like a big girl!

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After what seemed like a delicious eternity of being spaced out drunk and enjoying the maelstrom of people swirling to the sound of Death Metal, the band finally had to say it was the last song. Brutality and moshing ensued as before and eventually it came to an end.

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But screw that, the crowd wanted more of their sanity to be defeated so the band played another song just for us and again, brutal mosh pit all over our faces, exquisite.

I could not stop grinning the entire night, never has Cave 45 come so alive with a fusion of people and bands. This night won’t soon be forgotten by our team or the people who attended, except for Hugh Dick who got arrested, we are still trying to figure out where he is, but we aren’t looking too hard.

A final note on this, we only have pictures of Defeated Sanity because we had to find a photographer on short notice, we did not know we had a pass for pictures either. We deeply thank SWR for this opportunity, but guys, communication is key and we don’t mind chatting. The pictures were also taken with an analog camera, hence the hipster like quality.

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Text by J.P. Alves

Photos by Diogo A.
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