A Death Thrash Failure – Cave 45 ANGRY SHITHEAD BASTARD REPORT


“Warning, the man who wrote this report has been redpilling himself hardcore and is convinced every aspect of reality is out to get him. Although red pills taste like strawberries, don’t take him too seriously.”


Cave 45…Another night wasted watching bands suck ass even though I already know they suck ass… so fuck it, let’s watch them suck some more ass.

The first band on stage was “Evillution”, awesome name – that’s right, evil has evolved. From bloodthirsty dictators to illuminati child molesting bankers, evil has now taken the form of shitty underground teen thrash bands. The ones that cause a painful itch in your ear that won’t go away.

Unfortunately, this shit has evolved to such a level that it went full-fledged migraine.

Up next, more garbage that we’ve seen a million times over, “Atomik Destruktor” – That garbage that has been festering in the sun for the past decade. They graced the stage with their generic, barely put together music and all the normies headbanged as if they were being paid $$$ to be in a music video.

They half-assed Sodom’s “Agent Orange” (again), everyone fucking cheered, it was disgusting, and finally (best part of the show), they got off stage.


Topping of this garbage heap of a night, those fucking local boys, “Pestifer” – Get it? It’s like the shit stain version of Lucifer… They put on a show of some really nauseating death metal that I thought would never come to an end.

The bassist had promised me they would play Morbid Angel’s “Day of Suffering” – Which to me, is one of the very few reasonably tolerable death metal classics.

He lied! “Pestifer” are liars and big fat phonies…They offer you drugs and promise they will play shit for you…Instead they play what’s easiest for them and smoke cigs while laughing at you…Cunts… all of them.


Ah yes – Partyboy got a head cam, did you faggots see the new video we made? I love the part where he is filming but keeps fucking up what he shoots because he’s drinking beer while filming with his fat head. Just goes to show you that Partyboy is a dumb asshole whose opinion means nothing, all these warnings he makes about his fake news are for promotional ends.

Here’s his poor attempt at video editing, subscribe to our youtube channel to avoid me mailing you my cum covered feces in a gift basket.


Text by Hugh Dick


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