Woodrock Festival 2017 – Positively Psyched Partyboy

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Last weekend was a hell of a weekend fellas (HA, more like two weeks ago but whatever)! Three festivals at the same time…? Fuck yeah! Since our staff is shorthanded (some still plagued by the torments of high school and college) we couldn’t cover all of these events.

Add that to one of our photographers bailing on us the day before one of the festivals (leaving us no time to find a replacement…fucking cunt) and that gives you a Partyboy full of work to do and no time to play. You guys ever see The Shining?

You gotta be kidding yourselves if you think Hugh Dick was any help, he’s a worthless retard who spends his time fucking complaining and gets off on annoying other people.

With three festivals to choose from, obviously, we picked the one most of you people have never heard of….At least our regular readers must certainly know what XXXICKEN Party is. The other shitfest that happened during the same weekend gets talked about on mainstream media, so…No question everyone has heard about that one too.

We decided to head out to a quiet beach in Quiaios for our first ever “Woodrock Festival”!

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The name is very apt since the festival is in the middle of the woods, next to a campsite, while also on top of a parking lot (concrete=rock, trees=wood, woodrock, get it? I only came to this conclusion on the second day. On day one, the festival was literally in the middle of the woods; the stage was under a tarpaulin and on eye level with the audience – I was also drunk and high when eureka came over me like a warm blanket of liquid velvet).

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Either the schedule was changed and I didn’t know, or the first band “Desert Mammooth”, played for nine minutes. (Schedule said 23:50) – We got there at 23:59 – just in time to see the guys on stage high five each other and head out.

It was a sad way to start off day one, I had heard the band at home and really wanted to see them play that sexy doom…It wasn’t meant to be. I still think Dick messed with my watch…but I’ll never know.

The second band had something that has been keeping us hooked for a few weeks now.

Last year, Russian psychedelic stoner guys “The Grand Astoria” had come to the festival, which we didn’t know about – and that’s great, because we’ve been listening to them furiously these past weeks, and they’re fucking sweet af.

So, unsurprisingly, we were fucking hyped (sometimes I forget I was there alone with Dick, so much drank and so much dank)…I was fucking hyped to see one of their members perform with “The Legendary Flower Punk”.

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It was a perfect blend of energetic rhythm with melodic harmonies, an instrumental spectacle and an amazing display of musicianship, versatile and very well executed.

There were some weird lookin’ party dudes loving it, one sporting a Spiderman mask, another with a Pikachu balloon, at least two had crutches they didn’t need. I really thought I was going to see more of them, but they were gone – possibly off to the XXXICKEN Party… see that shit on the keyboardist’s head? A gift from Spiderman and friends. Everyone was enjoying the band, they had amazing stage presence.

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The last band of day one was the German hippie duo, “Tau”. How do you start a hippie concert? With music you say? You fool…of course not.

First, you put some special fucking incense you got in some fucking exotic place in a big fucking bowl, then, you go wander around through the audience.

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After putting the crowd in a trance with their fumes, they did it with their music, a blend of psychedelics and Native American razzle dazzle stuff. That’s what it sounded like to me anyway, this genre is not in my area of expertise. The second song they played had gotten stuck in our heads for a long while. It was a good show, very spiritual in a lot of different ways… a great way to finish off day one.

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After the performances were over, we realized something. Woodrock had a very helpful small detail that was so simple, and so perfect…most festivals could do their own variation of it, and really improve the experience for the viewers.

Every Time a concert was about to start, you would hear a wolf howl echo from the stage for a few seconds. It would also sound when a performance was over, making it a really useful way to keep track of the shows. (Very often you find yourself killing time at camp and can’t be completely sure if what you’re hearing is still part of the soundcheck or if shit is about to go off for real).

If any other festival organizers are reading this, you can easily apply your own variation of this to your festival, it’s a very simple and elegant way of letting everyone know… ”It’s time”.

I can already imagine the porno sample sounds from XXXAPADA – and the classic toilet flush sound effect from Milhões de Festa.

The second day of the festival ran late instead of early, there was plenty of time to wander around and enjoy the sights. The first band to grace the big ass stage in front of the parking lot was “Dúvida 413”, a rock band we’ve never heard of, and they started the party off the right way… their bassist was oddly familiar though.

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Spanish trio “Oddhums” was up next. They filled the woods with some fucking delicious doom, the audience and forest alike resonated with the vibrations spewing from the amps, with the frontman’s powerful voice and energy adding to the intensity.

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A great show from another band we had never heard of before, we hope to see these guys again sometime – good shit indeed.

The third band up on stage was “Lâmina”, and I was fucking psyched to be able to see them live. Having stumbled upon them at the stoned meadows of doom, this was one of the bands that brought us here, and they did not disappoint!

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A powerful energetic show with varied elements of stoner rock, psychedelia and doom, all beautifully performed by each member… with every passing note they left the audience fucking thrilled and craving more.

We gotta see these guys more often, can’t wait to hear what they will do next, their debut album should be a strong candidate for OUR best PT albums of 2017.

Next up was the last band we saw that day (we’ll get to that), The Germans “Black Willows”. Once again, the amps roared and resonated with mighty doom, delicious candy for our ears.

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The band sounded like a far gloomier and more depressed version of Om, which was fucking great! Taking the hippie, feel good side of a great band and drowning it in despair…Hell yeah, that’s fucking brutal!

Another great fucking performance at Woodrock! The festival was looking pretty good at this point.

After the Willows, we went back to camp to Netflix and chill for a while. “Correia” were up on stage playing when we got back, sadly…just as we were about to point the camera their way, the show got sacked! Apparently the drums were dead, so no more music.

Figuring no drums meant no more music, we closed shop and grabbed some shut eye, the following morning we had learned that “Mr. Miyagi” did in fact play, how the fuck did that not wake us up?  

If you really want to know what we think of these two bands, we saw both of them last year at Sonicblast, here you go.

The last day of Woodrock began with “Mr Mojo”, a band we’ve reported on with pleasure in the past.

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Their usual energetic doom stoner started the party atmosphere off nicely, it’s fulfilling to see them on a big ass stage for a change, suits them well. In case you’re wondering what we said about them in the past, check this out.

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Next up was another duo we’ve never heard of… “Her name was fire” rocked hard as they eagerly waited for the next band, they said it, not me.

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They probably didn’t play more because they really wanted to see the next band, which was the main event after all.

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The parking lot was nowhere near as full during any other performance as it was when “Mão Morta’s” time finally came to baptize the stage.

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So many missed opportunities to see these guys in the past… we did see them at Reverence’s first edition, but back then we weren’t in the business.

The old school classic rock band showered the crowd with oldies and new songs alike.

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When the guitar got fucked, Adolfo gave everyone some “intellectual onanisms” to pass the time. You don’t know what onanism means? It’s that thing you suffer from besides alcoholism, keep it up.

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“Até Cair”, “Como pássaros a esvoaçar”, “Bófia”, “Barcelona”, “Sitiados”, “Oub’la” and plenty more awesome songs made for an amazing fucking show, certainly one of the best of the weekend.

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After finishing their performance, they came back and played some more for an audience who didn’t want to see them to leave, playing “Lisboa” and heading off.

Without a doubt, one of the best Portuguese Rock bands ever, let’s hope they keep it up for a few more years!

Vodun” was up next, playing for the first time around these parts. The trio from the UK played some psychedelic rock blended with soul and straight from the 70’s.

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With shitloads of tribal energy, they got everyone dancing to their feel good but not too soft vibes.

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Ending the show was a band we had sorta’ seen at Sonicblast. This time, we knew what was coming and we waited for the Spanish duo “BALA” to shoot us square in the face with their kickass music.

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Definitely one of the most powerful performances of the night, this time we got the chance to see the whole thing, and it was fucking intense!

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Since it was the last band, we were obviously wasted as fuck. Therefore, we can’t be sure of this, but we have a strong feeling that they played a Kyuss cover… but we don’t remember which song, it might have been “Gardenia”.

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A great festival with great bands. It’s really a shame that Woodrock would fall on the same weekend as Milhoes and XXXicken Party, who knows how much extreme debauchery could have gone down… We will never know. Regardless, it was a peaceful and tranquil festival with different bands, and we can’t wait to see what they’ll bring next year!

 

Text and footage by J.P. Alves

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