XXXAPADA NA TROMBA 2018 – ANGRY HATEFUL PARTYBOY REPORT

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Finally! The report for the most brutal festival inside Portuguese borders, “Xxxapada na Tromba”!

Our most beloved freakish grind festival continues to awe us with the most earth-shattering bands, time after time and oh… then there’s the others…

The ambiance of “Xxxapada” is bitter sweet as always. One of the reasons behind this might be because it’s such an underdog event, and the people who go to this kind of shows seem to be always the same, apart from some new faces every year which are mostly welcome as they help deal with the old ones.

The fest is a must go for those into Brutal Death Metal, Slamming Brutal Death, Grindcore, Pornogrind, and surprisingly, Surf Metal after the debut of Lvnae Lvmen. Oh, and also whatever Serrabulho is.

 Anyway, the 2018 Edition presented us with both blasting and ok performances. On the 19th of January we had “Voyance. Just who are these guys? They managed to deliver a nice show, apparently, maybe.

Yeah, I couldn’t arrive in time, but I heard good things about them. And it is always good to have newcomers into any scene, we all know how the same old bands eventually start sounding like over-extended bathroom breaks.

In case you really need to know what we think of them, Partyboy saw them back in Porto Deathfest.

Burn Damagewho I was seeing live for the first time, came right after and they really surprised me. After all, shit talking and internet rumors felt really flat and unjustified, they beat expectations and were, perhaps, the finest appetizer for the night.

Eventually, AHR went to do some angry shit somewhere, and I was left behind with notorious Dick to check the rest of the festival.

The belgians “Brutal Sphincter” returned to spread their delicious diarrhea music to the people. I must say, it was somewhat disappointing.

Although their music is great, back in XXXicken partythey had poop, they had all sorts of crazy shit going on. I was expecting not only more of that but something that would push the envelope even further.

It wasn’t so; in terms of theatrics and gross shit, their show was pretty mild. Still, a great show. Great for unclenching your anal and renal orifices, and just relax to some of that delicious grind.

Hailing from Germany, “Stillbirth” whom we missed at XXXIcken party, played the subsequent show. We are not falling for the same dumb mistake again, HA!

Come to think of it… well, this is pretty embarrassing, but it turns out they played at the same Obscene Extreme that we went…

No problem, we definitely won’t miss them a third time. I think. Maybe.
But we finally got to see “Stillbirth” for the first time, and all the hype fulfilled our pregnancy-loss expectations.

RCA shook for the first time that night and the crowd responded in kind. Loved the music, loved the intensity and loved the beach shorts. Come to think of it, we would also like a pair. Fuck that, we are getting a pair for all our staff.

Next up was “Burned Blood” back when they had a midget for a guitar player. And I guess we also remember it being ok. But this time it was way more than ok. There was no midget for starters, and it doesn’t make any sense if it is related to their show, but who the fuck cares?  

Score two points for bands with Burn in the name. We must say though, it felt like these bands were grinding it up more than usual or we were just too drunk.

We missed the french band “Embrace your Punishment” because Hugh Dick freaked out about some shit, he will probably cover that on his report if he ever gets off his ass again (Fucking idiot still has reports to do from 2017).

Bleeding Display” came to the stage next, axe swinging, drenched in blood and out to give the audience orgasms. Mission thoroughly accomplished, but we knew this already, it’s pretty much set in stone with them. These badass death metal veterans always bring their AAA game to the stage, so Bleeding Display is a brand you can trust.

We have a vague memory of them having a guest vocalist at some point, and another even vaguer memory of the vocalist doing the same shit during another band’s set. What a friendly fella. we love the spirit of these guys.

Alright boys, seems AHR is back from the toilet.

Most bands on that day weren’t able to seduce my ass to stay for the rest of the shows, but I returned for “Korpse” and with me being already partially wasted, it was time to dig a brutal show.

From beginning to end, they delivered the crushing sound of their Slam, born in the Netherlands. The whole evening was filled with shows we had missed previously, to the point that the bill was almost like a personal most wanted shows list.

Katalepsy” played right after “Grog’s” slashing performance and their Russian Hockey Team Slam made the place go batshit insane! Even older folk were getting into the pit and surprisingly there was no loss of limbs. Although I hope the spastic zombie nun is ok.

Then we had Serrabulho, who, contrary to times of yore, did not close XXXAPADA this time for reasons unknown.

The second day’s schedule suffered last-minute changes, as “Ho Chi Minh” cancelled on a short notice. 

First came “Dead Meat” keeping with the streak of solid gigs, a classic friend of the house.

“Burn Damage” got a B- for lack of cleavage and “Kaliyuga” gets an A+ for the abundance of it, what a show. The vocalist spread herself all over the place and the music made her go wildly insane.

There were 2 surprises ready after “Besta”, the debut of our new Surf Metal band “Lvnae Lvmen” which was a fine addiction to the roster and who would have thought! Our favorite eggman got married on his own festival on his own band’s show!

All of us at Drunk on Drugs Report would like to congratulate Sérgio Pascoa and his beloved and we wish them the best.

Omnipotent Hysteria” made everyone hysterical, delivering the purest Brutal Death Metal straight from the UK with such an immense force, that its ripples successfully satisfied my need for less groovy bands. While this year was marked by a lack of true blasting BDM, I haven’t lost faith in brutality, death, and metal.

This band probably already blew up one of your earphones or speakers at least once, you were sitting in your room wanking to some pictures of Som Pluijmers and stumbled on them one day on youtube  and now you think you’re a death metal expert because you found something YOU never heard before.

Well of course “Extermination Dismemberment” was one of our first listens when we were stumbling on Slam Death Metal. This built a huge hype around the name and hell did they deliver the heaviest Slam gig I’ve ever seen, The huge circle pit certainly didn’t help.

After the shit break that was “Guinea Pig” came the home boys “Analepsy”, The only band that has been in Xxxapada since the beginning and still forces us to go see them, their shows are simply hard to miss. And it’s an honor to see they dont forget their origins.

Gutalax” was the afterparty pick for the last night and the first 15 minutes were enjoyable until I had to take a sh…

Once more, AHR needs a toilet break but don’t you worry, Partyboy’s got this report by the ass!

“Gutalax” lords of shit made the pit into a giant flushing toilet as the crowd spiraled out of control like a maelstrom of giant turds. Truly the best shit is this shit right here.

Not the shit we saw at Obscene though, the sound was ass and everyone and their mothers were on stage, but you know that already.

What matters is that “Gutalax” are yet to play a BAD show in Portugal, we could say shitty but calling this band shit is kinda redundant.

Systemik Violence” closed the festival and oh boy, was that vocalist angry as fuck! Seriously, for a few moments I thought Hugh Dick had climbed on stage with a different mask to pretend he was good at something, but I looked over my shoulder and there he was, with his sexy wrestling mask.

This dick energy was really pumping through the band though, many drunks cried in despair when it was over. They wanted more slapping, more whipping, more kicks in the face and…oh…

Turns out AHR came back early from his bowel movements, back to him.

“Systemik Violence” had the single highlight of a rat faced dude getting kicked in the head as people were in the mood for the concert but I was simply too tired so I watched it from the balconies. A solid show but the energy was lacking.

Xxxapada na Tromba! This year had only a handful of highlights, one of them being one of the “strippers” losing a horn in the middle of a gig and spending half of the other one looking for it! Who hired them? Basically the circus has clowns and Xxxapada has the awkward version of it.

But have you seen the lineup for the 2019 edition? Hymenotomy and Brodequin on the same card? In Portugal? I still don’t believe it. But if it isn’t a dream then I surely won’t miss it.

Here is the video for the event, filmed by Partyboy and edited by someone with actual editing skills. See you next year freaks ❤

 

Text by ANGRY HATEFUL REVIEWS and J.P. Alves

Video by J.P. Alves / Video Editing by Bessa

 

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