Clash of the Slashers – Bunker Birthday Partyboy Report – Metalpoint


Happy fourth birthday to best music store in town, BUNKER!

Fnac can go suck a rancid, rotted dick for all we care, what with their shitty selection and not even selling tickets to SWR. What n00bs.

A great celebration ensued, with just one week to recover from the beating that was SWR XXI, Metalpoint threw a party at our faces that was much too sensual to ignore.

Starting with local grind dream team “Back Alley Lobotomy”, who just keep getting better at their jobs. As we arrived, a bunch of drunks were already running around and doing drunk shit to their awesome tunes.

It felt like this was the true SWR after party, with a week in-between to let the weak rest their heads. They finished their show with a Repulsion cover. Extremely nice.

Analepsy” followed and, as usual, the earth shook beneath their slamming power to obliterate neck bones. Seriously, every time this band plays, it feels like everyone is aroused, highly aroused! We get it, though, “Analepsy” never disappoints as they use the audience to wipe the floor clean of cleanliness. How many times have we reported these guys? Not enough.

Next, more amazing grind, this time from the UK. “Foetal Juice” made us a grind cocktail we could not refuse and it tasted a little bit like afterbirth. Gotta keep young somehow, science says great stuff about stem cells. “Foetal Juice” made sure that the moshing did not slow down that night, with a great grind performance that won’t leave the mind of anyone present anytime soon.

What? There’s some major academic, traditional, college party going on citywide? We don’t give a fuck and neither do your “academics”. We’d rather grind our balls to dust at Metalpoint, than go see some weirdos in capes sing gay flirty songs from two centuries ago.

Just in case anyone got hurt too bad, they brought in a nurse next.

Basement Torture Killings” looked like something out of a bad snuff film, but a snuff film nonetheless. Intestines flied all over the crowd as the mosh pit got even more intense. Yes, they were actual human intestines, swear to Lemmy, it wasn’t just spaghetti and ketchup stuffed inside long condoms. These shady doctor-looking guys violated the audience with extreme tunes that beckoned your body to move really fast and all over the place.

Best birthday party ever, we can hardly wait for their fifth anniversary, we’ll be sure to bring them a cake next year. An intestine-filled cake, but a cake nonetheless.



Text and video by J.P. Alves

Video editing by Inês Oliveira

Photos by Analepsy’s boyfriend’s personal high tech phone


Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s