Drunk on drugs plunges into the unknown with our first ever report of Laurus Nobilis Music. No high or low expectations, just a bill of bands to enjoy all weekend.
We arrived slightly late since we had no idea where the festival was. The GPS sent us to some weird place.
But who cares? We got there eventually and the staff was very welcoming on arrival, camp wasn’t that great.
Although we didn’t notice because we got there at dusk, the campsite was a stretch of grass between the trees…but all the shade was reserved for an emergency trail in case the fire department had to show up. So no shade for 99% of people.
Who cares am I right? What about the fucking bands? You care about that yes? Let’s get to the bands.
Starting badly already with “Atreides” (badly us, not the band). We got there late and were still assembling our campsite while they played, sounded like some nice tradicional heavy metal.
Before we even set down our shit, someone was already handing us beer. Metal fests are very fast with alcohol.
We also missed “Booby Trap” but we’ve covered that before, enjoy.
After setting up shop, we hit the stage in time for the Portuguese History lesson. “Cruz de Ferro” were provoking a lot of headbanging.
These fellas played with Ensiferum some years ago at Hard Club, it was alright. Seems their fanbase increased quite a bit since last time. Congrats!
Most of their material is all about portuguese History, I guess people are into our country’s rich culture of corks and wine. Cool!
The last band was “Infraktor” which we had never heard of and had zero expectations.
They kicked everybody’s ass that night with some sexy thrash metal. No doubt, the best band of the night. Plenty of attitude from the stage and audience alike.
Next was the DJ who played two metal songs, then one rammstein electro remix and then trance and techno all night long.
There were two guys watching. I’m not even exaggerating.
That was just the intro day, free for everybody, even people who have no idea what metal is or why they should care.
Day two came around and we made a discovery. First, it was hot as balls everywhere but MOSTLY in your tent.
Naturally, everyone spent the afternoon in the shade by the trees blocking the emergency trail. We got yelled at a bit, they said we had to at least get the fuck out by 4 in the afternoon, around the time when the bands started but…what?
Ok, second discovery, there was a THIRD STAGE! Yes, there were three stages in total at Laurus Nobilis. Sadly, the third one was left out of the bill.
Since it was mostly garage bands, the organization left the promotion to them. Apparently they got lazy and fucked it up, barely anyone knew this existed or that they played there prior to the festival.
Nonetheless, some bands were alright, Mind crawler and Akroasis especially.
Third discovery was Ice cream. The Ice cream fucking ruled!!!
Now lets get to the bands.
We did not see InVein, however, InVein is good, you should not follow our example. The heat just made us want to stay in the shade drinkin beer.
Finally the main stage opened and we headed in. Honestly guys…we don’t really have anything good to say about the first show. “Hills Have Eyes” is not our thing. They did have a lot of support from the audience though.
Speaking of which, we know that Dick has been absent for a while, making his appearance mostly in magazines but he claims to be doing a comeback anytime soon.
I wouldn’t trust him on that.
Anyway, things got much better when “Equaleft” showed up. They have a new bass player which happens to be one of the festival’s organizers, not sure if its permanent. Still got that kickass live spirit we’re used to.
The best band of the festival came amidst a howling frenzy. Prior to their entry on stage, the audience was requested to make 30 seconds of screaming and cheering in memory of the people who died at the rampant fires in Greece this summer.
Then they came, in dark futuristic lookin leather, “Septic Flesh”! At long last, after coming to this country at least two times opening for shitty but more renowned bands, the greek masters of symphonic death metal return to our country without the deadwheight.
We’re glad we waited to see them as the top band on the bill. Who wants to see them play 20 minutes and then suffer through an hour of Children of Bodom? Or Amon Amarth? Gross.
None of that this time, just one hour of deliciously malicious symphonies of death metal, “The Vampire from Nazareth, “Pyramid God”, “Communion” and many other classics made the dust rise to heaven, knock on god’s gates and flip him off as he answered the door.
The audience was thicker and more wild here than at any other point of the festival. They even played “Lovecraft’s Death” which is awesome and people said they wouldn’t. Ha! Suck it losers.
Hat’s off to Septic’s awesome power. The ancient greek gods favour them indeed.
To end the party on the main stage, came the infamous, the filthy, the disgustingly politically incorrect legends of portuguese punk, “Mata-Ratos”.
With Miguel Newton’s stare of “I hate you and I’m sick of your shit”, they squirted out classic after classic to the enthusiastic audience that was as drunk as it gets at this point, that includes us.
Last time was when they unleashed their new album, that little red riding hood song was hilarious! Anyway, check that here.
We failed to see Web or the thicc DJ, too much drinkin? Not enough? Who knows.
The next day started with a big old hangover. The staff didn’t bother to keep anyone out of the shade this day. They tried a little.
The stage opened with “Legacy of Cynthia”. This band just reminds me of that blonde fat girl from Carnivalé. It was some strange prog stuff, people seemed to like it.
When we came back “Revolution Within” we’re fuckin faces left and right.
These boys were among the first underground bands ever to cross paths with DOD, almost a decade ago. There were other bands but those ended.
Good to see that they are still in shape to throw walls of death at our testicles. Amazing show.
Back to the main stage which was opening with the first non-Moonspell portuguese metal band we heard about, over a decade ago. “The Temple” did not age well with our tastes in aggression, some songs still tickle our bums but mostly, it’s a little soft. Why Revolution Within didn’t play on that stage instead of them? Excellent question.
People didn’t wanna wait for RW that long.
It was time for Thrash and spanish thrashers “Crisix” filled everyone’s beer cup of expectations. Much more exciting than we anticipated, the crowd went insane in the dirt as the band went insane on stage.
The guitar player had more love for mosh pits than for his guitar. The pit rivaled Septic Flesh’s party from the night before.
Then they played a bunch of covers in a row as a joke, probably a poke at all the shitty half-assed party bands that go to all the local yearly celebrations of saints and all that.
Portuguese metal Daddies “Tarantula” played next to a massive crowd. After the somewhat terrible vocals of the last time we saw Paulo Barros fingering a guitar, this show felt very fresh and delicious.
All the metal teens in all the land gathered in mass towards the main stage as sweds “Dark Tranquillity” were about to begin their set. Sweds is right since the vocalist said “sweet” a lot but it always sounded like swed, hilarious.
Starting savagely with “Encircled”, all the nostalgia came rushing when we saw Stanne’s magical hair flowing in the wind as he roared lyrics to us.
This is a band we’ve been waiting to see for years now and they did not disappoint.
“Treason Wall”, “Science of Noise”, “Final Resistance”, “The Wonders at your Feet”, “Terminus” and many more sensual songs.
Why the fuck they didn’t play any songs from “We are the Void”, we also don’t know. I suppose that album got a lot of backlash, but we don’t care! We like it!
Awesome show anyway, very dark and tranquill at the same time.
Closing the festival at last (unless you count DJ Nattu, we did not stay for that) were goth melodeath boys ,“The Godiva”.
Never seen them before nor heard any music. Our buddies however, saw this band as their first ever underground PT band and they were experiencing nostalgia on a very high level, just as we did with DT and RW.
It was a nice ending show, darker than anything so far and quite intense. A little industrial sometimes, either that or we were very drunk already.
What a great weekend, apart from the fact that everytime someone from a band said ”Laurus” I heard “Vagos” (which is gay) it was a proper fucking fest with plenty of room to grow.
Our advice to you guys, keep the Ice cream and inject more grindcore and black metal into your festival. Melo death is fine, but when everyone is melo, ain’t nobody ragin’ and metal needs some ragin’ with our drinkin.
Just kidding, there was plenty of fun, but seriously, more variety in your bands and don’t bring back Moonspell for fucks sake.
Enjoy our sensual video and pictures of the event.
Oh, and if you found any glaring mistakes in our magazine, feel free to let us know, we were too wasted to notice.
Text and video by J.P. Alves
Photography by Regina
Video editing by Quaresma