Metal Fiesta 3 Christmas Special

Good size dick


Partyboy: Due to popular demand, Drunk on Drugs Report’s are back!!!

Hugh Dick: One girl asked you to do it, pussy ass bitch!

PB: No seriously, others have expressed their desire in MORE Drunk on Drugs reports.

Apparently, the number of people who read is not at all proportional to amount of likes and shares on facebook.

HD: Yeah, that means people read, its shitty and they ignore it. I don’t see your point.

PB: The point is, the show must go on!

HD: Why can’t we stick to making memes? Please bro.

PB: Because our photoshop skills are subpar.

HD: I know my way around MS Paint you bitch!


HD: Starting with cancellations! FUCK YEAH!

PB: Why can’t you be more optimistic?

HD: That’s your job pussy lips.

PB: So, the stars did not align for “Divine Ruin” to open the show. While on their way to the Party, their car had some major issues, leaving them stranded by the road with only the option of returning home.

HD: So naturally, we hired a bunch of hobos to fill in!

PB: Fortunately, the second act has projects out the ass, so they filled the gap with “Antinomia”. Instead of Trash Death, we got served some fastcore grind punk shit that tasted wildly delicious.

HD: Then we cut the product and sent them out to the stage again!

PB: Yes, “Aischrolatry” followed with a much more rotten, filthy, gurgling sound. As the show progressed, members of Antinomia joined in and they switched instruments, a truly insane spectacle that was too short and too sweet for this world. I feel bad for anyone who missed.

HD: Me too, but mostly because they didn’t die in the show. 

PB: The opening bands almost had 30 minutes of playtime between them. Don’t blame us! They had the time, just not enough material.

HD: Fucking good.

PB: After the grindcore beatdown, it was time to slow down and relax a bit. Let the sores on your aching body settle and bruise your neck instead. 

Soulf of Anubis” hit the stage with one of the best doom performances in Metal Fiesta history.

HD: You need to stop with this Doom nonsense. The only DOOM I know is the video game.

PB: I couldn’t care less about your opinions Dick, I love doom, I bring doom. Soul of Anubis was an excellent choice. Props to the drummer from Burney Relief for pointing us in their direction. Good in the stage, in the studio and probably in the sack as well.

HD: That’s gay.

PB: Finally, our Christmas gift to the masses had come.

HD: Still re-hashing bands you saw at SWR years ago?

PB: Quiet Dick! After being away for too long, Galician OSDM menage “Bokluk” returned to Portugal and murdered everyone right in the fucking ear holes!

HD: Pff, it’s not even real Bokluk, didn’t the guy from Nashgul sing in this band? Where is he? Hard pass.

PB: Bokluk absolutely destroyed the stage and everyone standing near it, as well as the people in the rear. You can say that this is the kind of band that has no trouble reaching the back of the pussy and giving the audience the brutal sonic orgasm they craved for Christmas. 

What a magical evening, unlikely to repeat anytime soon.

HD: Dude, they played yesterday at Porto Death Fest because your lazy ass keeps delaying the reports.

PB: What??! I mean… OF COURSE! The show was so fucking good, people immediately want Bokluk to come back. Several people informed us that Bokluk was THE Death Metal show of the year, we’re glad we hosted this shit.

HD: It’s called ass kissing you dunce, did you notice them asking for free drinks after that?

PB: Then came our after-party…

HD: Oh! You mean CVLTO? Those [redacted] ?

PB: Yes, CVLTO’s head honcho threw the first ever after-party in the history of Metalpoint… WITH SYNTHWAVE!!!

HD: Someone should shoot you for this, you know that right?

PB: Lick my balls Dick! With the bar open and Perturbator, Lazerpunk, Tonebox and other awesome shit playing in the background, the after-party was exquisite.

HD: Not a lot of people though…

PB: Yeah, after parties at Metalpoint are like the Spanish inquisition, nobody is expecting them.

HD: I really hope this shitty report gets so few likes that you decide to go into hibernation again.

PB: For now, Metal Fiesta slumbers BUT… we do have plans my friends.

HD: Drinking whiskey is my plan, you do whatever you want.

PB: Thank y’all motherfuckers for showing up and supporting Drunk on Drugs, as well as the quality bands we bring to you. Stay tuned for more, we will be back in April, hosting the official Warm-Up party for the one and only, SWR BARROSELAS!

Come open theGates to SWRwith us!


Text Partyboy and Hugh Dick

Pics on FB by Diogo Azevedo


Good size PB

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s