Author: Drunk on drugs

Enblood – Cast to Exile Review

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Hello, you musically uncultured cunts! Perhaps you’ve noticed that the “main” labels have been dryer than your moms abandoned tush, or that the latest releases have been giving you PTSD from the Ingested disaster of constant plastic sounding Death Metal that makes My Chemical Romance sound like the heaviest thing right after your ego. But I have come, down once again, to the people to shed some light into what I would consider, good music.

This also comes as a reason to celebrate our newest partnership with Miasma Records. Here is the first of a long set of reviews I will be doing, sharing my greater wisdom and judgement about brutal music, even before you ever had a chance to hear it!

The judged of the night will be Enblood, the quartet from Almada, Setúbal, yes, 4 Portuguese bred stallions come with a release so hard it would make Joey Ryan’s dong jealous. CAST TO EXILE is their first full-length album covering 11 tracks of original face melting music of the most brutal kind. And the case is not something to be looked over, the artwork is done by Lordigan and the logo is also Lordigan’s doing, so this is a fully Portuguese backed release!

As expected, great presentation, beautiful art covering all of the CD case without any ugly uncovered or black ugly borders on it, professionalism is definitely there. However I cannot pass the opportunity to piss on how the booklet fold side is not turned towards the side it’s supposed to slide off, I have no nails to pick off one page, much less 2 pages of paper booklet from the sliding side and I’m too much of a pussy not to want to damage it so I had to resort, as usual, to my cats claws to much of his annoyance.

From the first track I thought that I had mistakenly put a Fleshgod Apocalypse CD on, but I was corrected about 30 seconds into the intro, as the faggotry suddenly stopped and no more tidelidoo piano was ever heard again.

“Cast to Exile” is the second track setting the Foundation for a fast paced experience, blast beats right in with tech death styled melodies peppered with the occasional breakdown. The guitar solos seem to be proof that these guys put heart and passion into what they are doing, especially in Portuguese bands you can detect the lack of effort put into the music being literally shit out, but Enblood prove that their balls are not made of plastic and they do not fall into the stereotype. I’m 4 tracks in and I absolutely loose track of time, the songs slip so well into each other that the record is being a wholesome experience rather than a compilation of good music a good band has worked for a set period of time.

Lots of religious lyricism on Oblivious Hate (track 4). Are they hanging out too much with their panda metal friends? They said “Satan” more times than a stuttering dude reading a “Natas” package upside down, bonus points for acting trve. The 5th song takes a more rhythmic stance showing off how nasty their bass sounds, yeah, we know, nasty basses are sexy, the sexy guitar solos as well, but it’s starting to be hard to hide the fact you actually dig Power Metal and screaming angrily all at the same time.

“Abyssal Consolation Of Souls” has to be the sexiest intro I’ve ever heard done by a portuguese band, and this album goes surprisingly well as you’re playing Killing Floor 2, bonus points for slipping the funeral march in there so well.

This piece of national treasure finishes on a high note with “Procession”, a song that was able to shove my most favorite drum eargasms in one song, these guys are just showing off on this one, and rightly. Every song up until now has perfectly blended chaos and order in a way no other national band has even dared to think about, they can go from blasting for almost a full minute to giving you such a tech and punk feel sometimes you’ll have to question if what you’re even hearing is what you think it is.

A great addition to the Miasma and Vomit your Shirt roster and one that goes to the shelves of my private collection.

DRUNK ON DRUGS SEXY BADGE:

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Stay tuned for more!

 

Angry and Hateful

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Corrosion Bookings goes on Vacation – Metalpoint – Spicy Report

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July 12th marked the ending of an era for Corrosion Bookings, the DIY booking “agency” which lately brought us some pretty good deals in punk and brutal music displays will take a long period of hiatus.
I wish this hiatus was better planned because for a last show you would expect an excessive indulgence in noise pleasure, but this show was pretty mild. Well, we can’t have it all and for a weekday show this wasn’t that bad.
Now straight to the point because no one likes to waste time.

URBANOISE, lame name but killer sound.
If this was their first show, I can’t wait to see their tenth. You take every iconic band from each badass genre, mix them, and you have Urbanoise. From old school black to the filthiest crust. It sounded to me like they made some pretty mistakes, but what’s noise without those, so they’re green but they’re also mean.
My only complaint is that they did a full set without UGH’s and then the last song had like 7 of them. Come on guys, I can only take so much pleasure in one song.

Next came RULES.
My inner child usually tells me that rules should be broken but these karate kids knew what they were doing and they ended up breaking us. Given that they are from Croatia I can only say that in Croatia the Rules break you and not the other way around.
They presented us with a cocktail of danceable rock’n’roll hardcore punk. It was quite enjoyable despite the Nirvana cover (yeah people, grunge days are very much over) and the cute Minor Threat rip-off.

And now I speak nothing but THE TRUTH, pun absolutely intended, I only stayed for one song. It was interesting but not intriguing enough to see the whole show. It was a been there, done that type of sound and I was kind of tired. Yeah, l know, what a shitty review, sorry.

So this was the last show brought to us by Corrosion Bookings.
Farewell Corrosion, thanks for all the heart-warming awesome shows in this cold northern city, now go and treat yourself to some spa retreat days.

 

Text by Spicy Girl

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WEEKLY FIX #4 LAZERPUNK

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I am hearing angelic voices; I feel my hand being taken while my soul withered away. Might I say, this isn’t derived from the fact that I’m a ginger, but damn gosh-jolly, so soft this hand-grabbing is; I wish they just took me away by my Special Agent Johnson, but whatever! Am I being dragged to heaven? My, oh my!! Didn’t expect that, especially after oozing all over that fuckingly eye-popping artwork from Robin Clarijs.

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Go check him out, it’s as gorgeous as a purple neon ass expelling vapors on Deckard Street!!

26 seconds passed and I’m still tripping to heaven, when suddenly… BAM!! I’ve arrived to fuckin’ hell!! Now, that’s more like it!!

After Game Over in 2014, and Nightcrawler in 2016, we couldn’t wait to see and hear with our dicks what the next step in the evolution would be.

Just the beginning of Death & Glory makes you wanna be in one of his events; (yeah, this guy’s huge in Hungary) we just follow him on Instagram and end up watching him perform live after Billy Idol or next to Quixotic (bro, careful with those thots, we’re watching you on Insta stories and Miami soundwaves can’t save your ass!!).


This guy feels like the devil, has a devilish girl, and I can’t seem to detach his whole being from a burlesque sense of style, which I just encounter in his inner soundings (UrethraWave anyone?).
So why hasn’t he played in Portugal yet? We’re always looking for more soldiers spreading the waves of our Lord and Savior Luci, and we damn well want to dance while drunkondrugs (see what I did there? A pun just to kiss Hugh Dick’s ass. He doesn’t smile a lot and I really want to be his friend, he’s so cool).

Anyways, this parenthesis became really long and my love for Hugh Dick is spreading rapidly in this extensive text about a great humane Hungarian person, who made me want to shake some booty thanks to those heavy beats, distorted soundscapes of hard basses, and all the references; samples that makes us live this fucking album.


I always end up listening to one of those 3 depending on my moods and strains, but this Death & Glory shit gets me fiery, pumped and cumming everywhere: I cum at home, I cum at the gym, cumming at work too and while walking to see my gramps. I just cum everywhere.
I just think that next time, Lazerov Punkovics could offer a pack of tissues with his album.
Yeah, I forgot, this guy gives you his music for free OR you can pay whatever you want!!


What’s not to love on a guy that does his thing with a full boner of passion?

Listen to his satanic-electro-darksynthwave-pump-up-the-jam-wreckingballesque-chased-by-the-cops-on-a-rainy-night tunes, which feel just like Speedracer feat. Quixotic inside an E30 from the mists going up to 88mph, and you’ll thank DoD for giving up their souls just to inform you of the wonders we’re living down here (the fact that I didn’t have a soul to begin with does not discredit my journey in joining Lazerpunk’s army of darkness).

As for me, after this really long text about a dude I find respectable as an artist, but also as a Human being due to his achievements (especially his Slav Squat technique), I just hope you’ll check him cuz we want him touring western europe. **

I’ll just leave you with wise words of advice from my Hungarian bro while I bleed my ears out with my favorite and first track from his latest: Ego Death.

“Listen to it, enjoy it, share it with your friends, and terrorize your neighbours with it.”

LAZERPUNK INFO:

 


https://www.facebook.com/Lazerpunk/

https://lazerpunk.bandcamp.com

http://lazerpunk.tumblr.com/

https://www.instagram.com/lazerpunk/

https://soundcloud.com/lazerpunk

Quixotic could get some Miami love too!!

https://thequixotic.bandcamp.com/

And the artwork guy, never forget the artwork guy

https://www.facebook.com/artofrobinclarijs

 

 

Text by Flama Jiberish

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