Studio Stuff

Enblood – Cast to Exile Review



Hello, you musically uncultured cunts! Perhaps you’ve noticed that the “main” labels have been dryer than your moms abandoned tush, or that the latest releases have been giving you PTSD from the Ingested disaster of constant plastic sounding Death Metal that makes My Chemical Romance sound like the heaviest thing right after your ego. But I have come, down once again, to the people to shed some light into what I would consider, good music.

This also comes as a reason to celebrate our newest partnership with Miasma Records. Here is the first of a long set of reviews I will be doing, sharing my greater wisdom and judgement about brutal music, even before you ever had a chance to hear it!

The judged of the night will be Enblood, the quartet from Almada, Setúbal, yes, 4 Portuguese bred stallions come with a release so hard it would make Joey Ryan’s dong jealous. CAST TO EXILE is their first full-length album covering 11 tracks of original face melting music of the most brutal kind. And the case is not something to be looked over, the artwork is done by Lordigan and the logo is also Lordigan’s doing, so this is a fully Portuguese backed release!

As expected, great presentation, beautiful art covering all of the CD case without any ugly uncovered or black ugly borders on it, professionalism is definitely there. However I cannot pass the opportunity to piss on how the booklet fold side is not turned towards the side it’s supposed to slide off, I have no nails to pick off one page, much less 2 pages of paper booklet from the sliding side and I’m too much of a pussy not to want to damage it so I had to resort, as usual, to my cats claws to much of his annoyance.

From the first track I thought that I had mistakenly put a Fleshgod Apocalypse CD on, but I was corrected about 30 seconds into the intro, as the faggotry suddenly stopped and no more tidelidoo piano was ever heard again.

“Cast to Exile” is the second track setting the Foundation for a fast paced experience, blast beats right in with tech death styled melodies peppered with the occasional breakdown. The guitar solos seem to be proof that these guys put heart and passion into what they are doing, especially in Portuguese bands you can detect the lack of effort put into the music being literally shit out, but Enblood prove that their balls are not made of plastic and they do not fall into the stereotype. I’m 4 tracks in and I absolutely loose track of time, the songs slip so well into each other that the record is being a wholesome experience rather than a compilation of good music a good band has worked for a set period of time.

Lots of religious lyricism on Oblivious Hate (track 4). Are they hanging out too much with their panda metal friends? They said “Satan” more times than a stuttering dude reading a “Natas” package upside down, bonus points for acting trve. The 5th song takes a more rhythmic stance showing off how nasty their bass sounds, yeah, we know, nasty basses are sexy, the sexy guitar solos as well, but it’s starting to be hard to hide the fact you actually dig Power Metal and screaming angrily all at the same time.

“Abyssal Consolation Of Souls” has to be the sexiest intro I’ve ever heard done by a portuguese band, and this album goes surprisingly well as you’re playing Killing Floor 2, bonus points for slipping the funeral march in there so well.

This piece of national treasure finishes on a high note with “Procession”, a song that was able to shove my most favorite drum eargasms in one song, these guys are just showing off on this one, and rightly. Every song up until now has perfectly blended chaos and order in a way no other national band has even dared to think about, they can go from blasting for almost a full minute to giving you such a tech and punk feel sometimes you’ll have to question if what you’re even hearing is what you think it is.

A great addition to the Miasma and Vomit your Shirt roster and one that goes to the shelves of my private collection.



Stay tuned for more!


Angry and Hateful


Salem’s Pot – Pronounce This!

Some time ago, a man roamed the streets of Oslo in a dress, wearing make-up and totally wrecked, he looked around and he saw all kinds of stuff that got him thinking. This trip and all its ponderings culminated eventually into “Tranny takes a trip”, the first part of the wider trip we can experience with “Pronounce This!”

Distancing itself from the debut record, “Pronounce This!” takes several elements that work well together, less doom but more psych, more blues, more synth and songs that evolve beyond what you’ve heard in the first few seconds.

The first trip with tranny takes us into deep consideration of the state of the world as we watch it collapse on its own idiocy with groovy and psychedelic riffs as the soundtrack. Ignorance and fear are spreading worse than Rick Sanchez’s Cronenbergs, we are all trapped in a system that has none of our interests at heart while society slowly but steadily plunges into a state where man lives in the gutter with no love for the sun and the peaceful ones have to arm themselves.

Who cares anyway? Life is “Just for Kicks” after all, and in this spirit the next trip begins as we throw all the cares away and drink ourselves to the point where not even Lucifer can give us a thrill anymore, where consequence is of no concern because nothing means anything. Damn relatable and well written lyrics laid down on a great tune that takes several awesome diferent directions from the first to the last second that shall forever live in my heart. Let’s face it, we only do this for the kicks, all of us.

Then “The Vampire Strikes Back” with more relatable delicious lyrics inside a riff sandwich that smells and tastes amazing. The vampire here is not an undead figure with pointy teeth that scares your children at night, oh no, much, much worse and real than that. The real vampire is anxiety created by the state of civilization, it sucks the life from you and leaves your brain withered with meaningless concerns. All this they tell us between haunting musical settings that rise and fall beautifully.

Then comes the largest and most profound trip. “Coal Mind” is 12:48 minutes of pure doom stoner, psych jizz in your ears. Starting with a heavy doom, it flows into a groovy 70’s horror psych, blues, stoner trip that goes on and on and oh yes! The lyrics are the guitar talking with your braincells and making them relax while the other instruments caress you softly.

At the five minute mark there is a break, then slowly, the haunting synths rise, the guitar joins in giving a new direction to the song, then the drums and bass bring rhythm, the guitar starts to psych it up and riffing wildly until it culminates back to the initial sound with a blast. Listen to this, just listen, words can only do so much.

Then comes the part no one was expecting. “So Gone, So Dead” is a country style song, they felt like doing a country song so they did, and they did the hell out of it. Sounds great, awesome lyrics that come out naturally with the song and that devilish haunting Salem’s Pot keyboard lingering behind it.

“Desire” comes next, starting with a rockabilly like riff that reeks of stoner and doom. This song is closer to “…Lurar ut dig på prärien”, stoner doom all the way, although it does carry a lot of the new elements from their new approach and it works great. Once again terrific lyrics to go with the sonic orgasm.

A sinister organ brings the song and the album to an end, leaving us thirsty for another listen, our ears hungry for those sweet riffs and sexy lyrics once more. With such potent evolution between the first and second record, I can only imagine what the future holds for Salem’s Pot and their work.


Text By J.P. Alves

Repressão Caótica – Esquema Forjado EP

You better be in the mood for some sweet ass crust punk because that is exactly what I’m about to lay down on you with “Esquema Forjado” by cockland’s very own “Repressão Caótica”.

It starts with a sample of a man screaming that “Fado” is poison and that the ones who play it should die. For those who don’t know, “Fado” is a generally whinny traditional Portuguese music that was force fed to the people back in the days of the dictatorship, so a lot of people still hold a grudge, in short, for people who like extreme music in Portugal, this is a damn fine example of how to start a crust punk EP.

Just as the old man is telling the “fadistas” to drop dead, (ignoring the shushing sound) “Fábrica de Sonhos” punches through the sample right in your face with crust power and your body can’t help but move. A nice groovy start to this EP that compels you to hear the rest and promises some awesome shit.

“Velocidade Maldita” follows with more punk to keep our heads from standing still and ends with a slower almost doomy tune that still keeps our heads from standing still.

An ominous speech follows, a man says that those who work are afraid to lose their jobs, the ones who don’t work are afraid they will never find work, when they are not afraid of hunger they are afraid of food, the civilians are afraid of the military, the military are afraid of a shortage of guns and the guns are afraid of a shortage of wars.

A culture of fear, or as we say around here “Cultura do Medo”, which is not only a thing governments and banks are seriously into, it is also the next awesome song, with more delicious crust riffs, punk rhythms and a catchy chorus, awesome speed ensues as well and to punctuate the guys speech at the end of the song, there are those who fear the end of fear.

“Vitimas do Ódio” starts slow but soon the punk cums right in your face, cum full of crust that keeps that pit going steady. It gets slow again in the end before it fades and another speech happens, this time a shorter one, more to the point.

“Everything is discussed in this world except for democracy” it’s what we hear before “Mentes Falidas” begins to punch you in the brain. The level of crust punk goodness never gets lower so your head keeps banging.

Another speech, a patriotic one from our brand new president introduces “Esquema Forjado”, this one throws the punk crust into a grind blender and the result is a delicious music shake. This is that one song when everyone gets murdered in the mosh pit and buried with a smile of broken teeth.

“Xispes” closes the EP with a song dedicated to a great venue in the Land of the cock, a place where fried chicken steaks are bigger than your momma’s wide fat ass. A fast relentless rhythm opens the song nicely, then crust gets psyched up for a while in the middle and then it fades.

So if you need something fast and crusty to lighten your day, look no further, fucking Repressão Caótica!


Text by J.P. Alves