Outeiro Metal Fest, First Edition – Partyboy Report


Drunk on drugs travelled far to witness the miracle of birth for the first time. No! Not small persons being squeezed out of vaginas, you perverts.

Nope, we went to see a festival being born, the first edition of Outeiro Metal fest, so far out in the mountains that it was almost Spain.

The stage was on one of those rural football fields that wasn’t being used for anything as far as we know, so the locals put it to good use and made a fucking festival! That’s right! The stage you saw was assembled by a few people in two days and most of the ingredients were trapped in an overgrown thicket of thorns and bullshit.

As we arrived, “Vurdalak” was about to begin. They played a very personal instrumental sound with some stoner, sometimes black, sometimes things we don’t know. A nice start for the festival to squeeze itself into history.

Things were about to get a lot heavier next with “Nematomorphos”, or at least they would be if the audience wasn’t so inclined to stay clustered to the bar.

Not that the band cared about that, they were here to PARTY and PARTY they did, with or without the audience!

The vocalist was excited and spirited, the fact that we and two other guys were the only part of the audience up front and enjoying their heavy music, did not affect them in the slightest.

“Nematomorphos” played their sexy death/thrash, had a lot of fun doing it and everyone else who didn’t have fun can suck dicks. The beer won’t run out if you step away from the bar for 5 minutes. They even played a Black Sabbath cover, Symptom of the Universe, fucking nice!

Not bad for a band with half a year of existance.

After that it was dinner time. We got to the food stand which sold kick ass steaks in a hot bun. We waited for a while, gettin drunk, killing time before the organization showed its face on stage.

Ruina” came next with the darkest, most substantially depressive sound of the festival. The audience was three times as thick now and they responded in mass to the band.

Somber riffs, doomy drums, ominous saxophones and a vocalist that didn’t hold back anything.

Seriously, even when the mic broke down in the second track, he kept singing without it and HE PULLED IT OFF!

I repeat, the vocalist pulled it off without a microphone, he did not need a microphone. His voice was fucking…POWERFULL!

Barefooted and ragged, along with his entourage of tenebrous musicians, “Ruina” gave a massive performance that we did not see coming. Entrancing suicidal music, even had some unexpected blastbeat by the end that left our dicks hard for more.

The vocalist told a really good joke at the end but we’re not telling you. Really should have been there.

Next and for the second time this week, sensual stoner from the town of Mirandela, “Witch Sin”, their music as beautiful as the town itself. Stoner metal with a chill vibe, groovy riifs and more fuzz than the pussy on a 1970’s porn star.

The final band was “Sotz” who played a great opening show at Laurus Nobilis Music Fest’s second day.

They kicked even more ass this time around. The vocalist, as usual, is a total animal on stage and in your face when he decides to go start the pit himself.

There was a more proper pit during their show, even the first ever Wall of Death at Outeiro Metal Fest. Sotz is no doubt a muscular band that doesn’t hold back.

Props to the drummer who learned all their songs in a few days before the fest. This meant that they had to repeat the first song when the crowd screamed for more music.

What a great place, great bands, great everything. It’s amazing how many long running festivals, with several editions under their belt, can still do a lot of things worse than this one during the first edition.

The camping site was actually better than many festivals, with shade 24/7, it was also smaller than the stage but DETAILS!

We are excited to see how Outeiro Metal fest grows up, until then enjoy our video of the first ever edition of this awesome festival.



Text and video by JP Alves

Video editing by Quaresma


Yawning Man – Witch Sin – Woodstock 69 – Partyboy Report


Suck it sonicblast! We don’t need your Kadavar’s or your Earthlesses or your Colour Haze’s! Yawning Man is the tits! The psychedelic, desert stoner rock tits!

But we’re getting ahead of ourselves, let’s calm down for a bit and go one step at a time.

This 9/11, we headed to Woodstock 69 to report on two bands. We got this gig due to a 9/11 joke, so don’t discard 9/11 jokes out of your life.

Opening band was “Wich Sin” from Mirandela, a very beautiful town in fact! Is the band as beautiful as the city you ask?

Quite so! Their first single came out a few weeks ago (more like a month ago) a nice power trio of stoner fuzz that was great at setting the mood for the main event. We’ll see them again in less than a week at Outeiro Metal fest.

Did we tell you that it was HOT AS BAAAALLLS???

Yes, Woodstock 69 always succeed at making you feel in the middle of a 69 in progress (or several). You could feel the dragon’s breath as soon as you walked in the door.

Fortunately, the band did not give a shit! Straight from the middle of the desert in California, “Yawning Man” felt right at home in the desert heat of our local 69 bar.

As usual, the contrast between people who showed up to see the 30 year old veterans VS the people who showed up to see the opening act was very deep indeed.

We were taking a piss when it started, got there and the stage was packed with music junkies. Fuck!

Here’s what I did; since it was impossible to get any closer, hot as the desert and more of a sound band than a flashy theatrical band, I laid my ass down on the couch.

Yeah, Woodstock 69 has two big, red, comfy couches in the back. A joint in my hand, my ass rested and the best fucking tunes swimming over me, I tripped balls, it was amazing.

The best part was the vibrations from the loud music made the couch jiggle so it was like a massage bed.

Haha! Those fools upfront, dying from heat stroke while I get a full body massage with a giant fan next to my face for free to the sound of Yawning Man, this is the life.

After a while, the hot weather took its toll on the geography of the audience and it was easier to get up front to see the grandmasters of desert rock at work.

It was even more beautiful up close, they launched into “Ghost Beach” at that moment and it was majestic. Their songs flowed so nicely, true experience at its finest. It tastes even better when we’ve been blue balled by this band since 2015, when they cancelled on us at the deceased Reverence Fest.

The wait was worth it, we’ve been to five, yes FIVE editions of Sonicblast, two Reverences and more Milhoes de Festa than we’re proud of. This leaves out all the thousands of bands we’ve seen elsewhere playing this genre.

In all these years, never have we come across such deliciousness in sonic, desert stoner psychedelia. Many come close, just barely, but the competition is cute at best.

“Yawning Man” started it all, smoking a joint today would never be the same without their unique style and sound.

It was a bit sad that they didn’t play Rock formations, but that just gives us the urge to see them again, in case our sound boner wasn’t hard enough for them already.

Woodstock 69, you’re bringin a lot of good stuff this way, keep up the good work, we’ll start a crowdfunding campaign to get you some AC. Then you guys can bring some frosty black metal bands.

Enjoy the sexy video and photos of the event, Outeiro Metal Fest report coming this week.




Text and video editing by JP Alves

Photo and Video by Diogo Azevedo


Laurus Nobilis Music Fest – Famalicão – Partyboy Report


Drunk on drugs plunges into the unknown with our first ever report of Laurus Nobilis Music. No high or low expectations, just a bill of bands to enjoy all weekend.

We arrived slightly late since we had no idea where the festival was. The GPS sent us to some weird place.

But who cares? We got there eventually and the staff was very welcoming on arrival, camp wasn’t that great.

Although we didn’t notice because we got there at dusk, the campsite was a stretch of grass between the trees…but all the shade was reserved for an emergency trail in case the fire department had to show up. So no shade for 99% of people.

Who cares am I right? What about the fucking bands? You care about that yes? Let’s get to the bands.

Starting badly already with “Atreides” (badly us, not the band). We got there late and were still assembling our campsite while they played, sounded like some nice tradicional heavy metal.

Before we even set down our shit, someone was already handing us beer. Metal fests are very fast with alcohol.

We also missed “Booby Trap” but we’ve covered that before, enjoy.

After setting up shop, we hit the stage in time for the Portuguese History lesson. “Cruz de Ferro” were provoking a lot of headbanging.

These fellas played with Ensiferum some years ago at Hard Club, it was alright. Seems their fanbase increased quite a bit since last time. Congrats!

Most of their material is all about portuguese History, I guess people are into our country’s rich culture of corks and wine. Cool!

The last band was “Infraktor” which we had never heard of and had zero expectations.

They kicked everybody’s ass that night with some sexy thrash metal. No doubt, the best band of the night. Plenty of attitude from the stage and audience alike.

Next was the DJ who played two metal songs, then one rammstein electro remix and then trance and techno all night long.

There were two guys watching. I’m not even exaggerating.

That was just the intro day, free for everybody, even people who have no idea what metal is or why they should care.

Day two came around and we made a discovery. First, it was hot as balls everywhere but MOSTLY in your tent.

Naturally, everyone spent the afternoon in the shade by the trees blocking the emergency trail. We got yelled at a bit, they said we had to at least get the fuck out by 4 in the afternoon, around the time when the bands started but…what?

Ok, second discovery, there was a THIRD STAGE! Yes, there were three stages in total at Laurus Nobilis. Sadly, the third one was left out of the bill.

Since it was mostly garage bands, the organization left the promotion to them. Apparently they got lazy and fucked it up, barely anyone knew this existed or that they played there prior to the festival.

Nonetheless, some bands were alright, Mind crawler and Akroasis especially.

Third discovery was Ice cream. The Ice cream fucking ruled!!!

Now lets get to the bands.

The fest started with “Sotz”, a nice local band we’ve covered almost two years ago.  With their wild raving vocalist, they made the audience tear the grass off the floor before anyone else.

We did not see InVein, however, InVein is good, you should not follow our example. The heat just made us want to stay in the shade drinkin beer.

Finally the main stage opened and we headed in. Honestly guys…we don’t really have anything good to say about the first show. “Hills Have Eyes” is not our thing. They did have a lot of support from the audience though.

Speaking of which, we know that Dick has been absent for a while, making his appearance mostly in magazines but he claims to be doing a comeback anytime soon.

I wouldn’t trust him on that.

Anyway, things got much better when “Equaleft” showed up. They have a new bass player which happens to be one of the festival’s organizers, not sure if its permanent. Still got that kickass live spirit we’re used to.

The best band of the festival came amidst a howling frenzy. Prior to their entry on stage, the audience was requested to make 30 seconds of screaming and cheering in memory of the people who died at the rampant fires in Greece this summer.

Then they came, in dark futuristic lookin leather, “Septic Flesh”! At long last, after coming to this country at least two times opening for shitty but more renowned bands, the greek masters of symphonic death metal return to our country without the deadwheight.

We’re glad we waited to see them as the top band on the bill. Who wants to see them play 20 minutes and then suffer through an hour of Children of Bodom? Or Amon Amarth? Gross.

None of that this time, just one hour of deliciously malicious symphonies of death metal, “The Vampire from Nazareth, “Pyramid God”, “Communion” and many other classics made the dust rise to heaven, knock on god’s gates and flip him off as he answered the door.

The audience was thicker and more wild here than at any other point of the festival. They even played “Lovecraft’s Death” which is awesome and people said they wouldn’t. Ha! Suck it losers.

Hat’s off to Septic’s awesome power. The ancient greek gods favour them indeed.

To end the party on the main stage, came the infamous, the filthy, the disgustingly politically incorrect legends of portuguese punk, “Mata-Ratos”.

With Miguel Newton’s stare of “I hate you and I’m sick of your shit”, they squirted out classic after classic to the enthusiastic audience that was as drunk as it gets at this point, that includes us.

Last time was when they unleashed their new album, that little red riding hood song was hilarious! Anyway, check that here.

We failed to see Web or the thicc DJ, too much drinkin? Not enough? Who knows.

The next day started with a big old hangover. The staff didn’t bother to keep anyone out of the shade this day. They tried a little.

The stage opened with “Legacy of Cynthia”. This band just reminds me of that blonde fat girl from Carnivalé. It was some strange prog stuff, people seemed to like it.

When we came back “Revolution Within” we’re fuckin faces left and right.

These boys were among the first underground bands ever to cross paths with DOD, almost a decade ago. There were other bands but those ended.

Good to see that they are still in shape to throw walls of death at our testicles. Amazing show.

Back to the main stage which was opening with the first non-Moonspell portuguese metal band we heard about, over a decade ago. “The Temple” did not age well with our tastes in aggression, some songs still tickle our bums but mostly, it’s a little soft. Why Revolution Within didn’t play on that stage instead of them? Excellent question.

People didn’t wanna wait for RW that long.

It was time for Thrash and spanish thrashers “Crisix” filled everyone’s beer cup of expectations. Much more exciting than we anticipated, the crowd went insane in the dirt as the band went insane on stage.

The guitar player had more love for mosh pits than for his guitar. The pit rivaled Septic Flesh’s party from the night before.

Then they played a bunch of covers in a row as a joke, probably a poke at all the shitty half-assed party bands that go to all the local yearly celebrations of saints and all that.

Portuguese metal Daddies “Tarantula” played next to a massive crowd. After the somewhat terrible vocals of the last time we saw Paulo Barros fingering a guitar, this show felt very fresh and delicious.

All the metal teens in all the land gathered in mass towards the main stage as sweds “Dark Tranquillity” were about to begin their set. Sweds is right since the vocalist said “sweet” a lot but it always sounded like swed, hilarious.

Starting savagely with “Encircled”, all the nostalgia came rushing when we saw Stanne’s magical hair flowing in the wind as he roared lyrics to us.

This is a band we’ve been waiting to see for years now and they did not disappoint.

“Treason Wall”, “Science of Noise”, “Final Resistance”, “The Wonders at your Feet”, “Terminus” and many more sensual songs.

Why the fuck they didn’t play any songs from “We are the Void”, we also don’t know. I suppose that album got a lot of backlash, but we don’t care! We like it!

Awesome show anyway, very dark and tranquill at the same time.

Closing the festival at last (unless you count DJ Nattu, we did not stay for that) were goth melodeath boys ,“The Godiva”.

Never seen them before nor heard any music. Our buddies however, saw this band as their first ever underground PT band and they were experiencing nostalgia on a very high level, just as we did with DT and RW.

It was a nice ending show, darker than anything so far and quite intense. A little industrial sometimes, either that or we were very drunk already.

What a great weekend, apart from the fact that everytime someone from a band said ”Laurus” I heard “Vagos” (which is gay) it was a proper fucking fest with plenty of room to grow.

Our advice to you guys, keep the Ice cream and inject more grindcore and black metal into your festival. Melo death is fine, but when everyone is melo, ain’t nobody ragin’ and metal needs some ragin’ with our drinkin.

Just kidding, there was plenty of fun, but seriously, more variety in your bands and don’t bring back Moonspell for fucks sake.

Enjoy our sensual video and pictures of the event.

Oh, and if you found any glaring mistakes in our magazine, feel free to let us know, we were too wasted to notice.




Text and video by J.P. Alves

Photography by Regina

Video editing by Quaresma